We are all expected to stay at home to prevent the coronavirus outbreak from spreading. Being in a quarantine means that you have more time to spend with your spouse to spice up your marriage. Unfortunately, it happens to cause conflicts for some couples. Worry not, there are ways to make quarantine more enjoyable and fun. Here are the top six tips to help you maintain a fulfilling marriage during the quarantine.
1. Be Patient And Make A Lot Of Dua
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, passed by a woman who was weeping next to a grave. The Prophet said, “Be mindful of Allah and be patient.” She said, “Go away from me! You have not been afflicted by a calamity like mine,” and she did not recognize him. Then, she was told that it was the Prophet, so she went to the Prophet’s house and she did not find any guards there. She said to him, “I did not recognize you.” The Prophet said, “Verily, patience is at the first strike.”Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1223, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 926
Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim
عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ مَرَّ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بِامْرَأَةٍ تَبْكِي عِنْدَ قَبْرٍ فَقَالَ اتَّقِي اللَّهَ وَاصْبِرِي قَالَتْ إِلَيْكَ عَنِّي فَإِنَّكَ لَمْ تُصَبْ بِمُصِيبَتِي وَلَمْ تَعْرِفْهُ فَقِيلَ لَهَا إِنَّهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَأَتَتْ بَابَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَلَمْ تَجِدْ عِنْدَهُ بَوَّابِينَ فَقَالَتْ لَمْ أَعْرِفْكَ فَقَالَ إِنَّمَا الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الْأُولَى1223 صحيح البخاري كتاب الجنائز باب زيارة القبور
926 صحيح مسلم كتاب الجنائز باب في الصبر على المصيبة عند الصدمة الأولى
It is easier said than done. As a Muslim, we need to be patient and keep a good thought (حٌسن الظّن بِالله) of the decree of Allah. Always believe that there is a wisdom behind this calamity. Let us keep in mind that Allah will provide us with ease during and after hardship. May Allah make it a means to expiate our shortcomings. Be sure to make a lot of ad’iyah, especially at the times when our prayers are most likely to be answered.
2. Do Ibadah Together
Strengthen and maintain your iman by doing ibadah together with your spouse. Even during this tough time, you still have to adhere to our salah five times a day. It’s disheartening that we temporarily can’t pray in the Masjid anymore. But, we can pray with our spouse and other family members at home. Perform other ibadah as well, such as reciting the Quran, fasting on Monday and Thursday, sending charity to those in need, and many more. Preserving your relationship with Allah will have a significant impact on your marriage.
3. Make Time To Talk About It
We are having a challenging time during this calamity. People have lost their loved ones, jobs, and businesses. All of these unfortunate events may trigger your anxiety. However, everyone has their own means to cope with it. As a married couple, it’s a tremendous blessing that we have someone by our side.
I understand that it’s not an easy topic to talk about, even with the one you love the most. But, communicating your thoughts, concerns, and fears with your partner will help you feel better. Talk about how this hardship is affecting your marriage. If your husband is the quiet one, ask him how he feels and listen with an open heart. You don’t have to offer him solutions, especially if he doesn’t ask for one. Be more understanding and nurture him with love. After all, knowing that we are there for each other is what will help us go through this difficulty.
4. Create Space To Do The Things You Love
Having time and space for yourself is essential to keep your sanity and wellbeing. Pampering yourself by having a bubble bath, reading a book, or a simple exercise can keep stress at bay. Make a wish list of the things you want to enjoy by yourself during the quarantine. Keeping your body, mind, and soul fresh will surely help you take care of your family better.
5. Pick Up A Fun Activity With Your Spouse
Now that you have all the time to spend with your spouse, there’s no excuse not to learn a new language or other activities that you both have been longing to do.
Here are some interesting activities you can do with your spouse to rekindle your marriage during the quarantine:
Find a new recipe to cook
Take Islamic online courses (find my recommendation here)
Learn Arabic or any language
Do exercises to keep your body fit
Grow plants in the backyard
Listen to inspirational podcasts (find my recommendation here)
Watch amusing videos on Youtube
and the list goes on!
6. Set Up A Date At Home
Now that you’re in the quarantine, you’ve got to postpone your travelling plans. Keep the spark alive in your marriage by using your creativity to adjust your dating routine so you can do it at home. For example, set up a candlelight dinner at home, plan an indoor picnic, or have a barbeque party in the back yard!
Okay, those are six tips from me to help you strengthen your marriage during the quarantine. Have you tried any of these? Share with me in the comment if you have other ideas for others to try.
I pray that this hardship will end soon. May Allah protect us and keep us safe.
See you in the next post, inshaaAllah.
Featured image by: Taylor Hernandez